5 ways to quadruple your content marketing ROI in less than a month

For marketers that aIMG_7774re synergizing and “revenuing” their demand pipes, the MarTech stack is a sales funnel of customer insights.

Historically, when sales leaders optimize their channel strategy, they routinely approach their pain points in a pragmatic, agile way. But the days are numbered of simply blindfolding monkeys and having them throw darts at Gartner’s newest magic quadrant of social listening platforms.

I’m just like you. Here’s a pop-culture reference to prove it. Remember that scene in Gummo when the two identical twins punch each other in the kitchen? That’s what you’re doing everyday when you fail to audit your agility, specifically in the areas of omnichannel management and content meta data.

I used to write for an alternative weekly paper, so here’s an apt non sequitur.

  1. Starting numbered lists without properly setting them up

There’s so much marketers can learn if they just watch all the Die Hard movies in reverse. And here’s where I’m going to get philosophical, and why not? Most of us went to school to change the world, and we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking we can by putting innocent online shoppers into drip campaigns that ask for personal information.

Here’s some intriguing metrics on content marketing:

  1. According to the guy who was asleep at the bus stop this morning, 99% of content marketers think ice cream doesn’t contain eggs.
  1. Two thirds of all salespeople think MQLs are performance-enhancing drugs that janitors smuggle into the building using hollowed-out Furbies.
  1. At least half of the prospects in your best-performing campaign are actually kittens made of bees, which proves that the bees aren’t dying—they’re flying in “kitten formation” and pretending to be in the decision stage of their customer journey.

If you’ve learned anything today, I’d be shocked. Happy April Fool’s.

Theo Romeo

Author Theo Romeo

More posts by Theo Romeo

Theo oversees ID’s Creative Department. His team, made up of people more talented and smarter than he, is on a crusade to make B2B creative more compelling and engaging. You can routinely find Theo standing in front of a whiteboard, arguing on behalf of storytelling and challenging the sacred cows of B2B content marketing. Once the culprits responsible for all the high-volume, low-performing content flooding everyone’s desktop and mobile devices are vanquished, you will find Theo quietly staring out onto the waters of the pacific northwest, calm, fulfilled. But in the meantime, when Theo’s not chasing windmills or trying to find less patronizing ways to tell his team how amazingly proud he is of them, you can find him making croissants for his wife and daughter, while listening to black metal and sipping a Sazerac. His personal motto: “Empathy is the shortest path to happiness.”

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